Editor’s note: This article was part of our annual April Fools’ Day satirical news. It is not factual, and was written in good fun. If you can appreciate a joke, proceed with that in mind; if not, we invite you to read any and all of the thousands of factual articles that have been published to this website since 2021.
In an effort to increase diversity in this rural South Arkansas town of 500 residents, the Amity City Council voted in a special-called meeting April 1 to adopt a new flag and motto.
City officials on Tuesday unveiled a 50’X50’ rayon flag of vibrant red/orange/yellow/green/blue/indigo/violet. Prominently displayed in the flag’s center is a trio of fisted black, white and yellow wrists under the motto Omnis Populas Gratissimum.
In a ceremony immediately after the meeting’s adjournment, Mayor John McAnnally led a jovial parade of eclectic residents to the town’s roundabout to raise the enormous flag as Old Glory was lowered.
The mayor eyed the old American flag and remarked it was just the right size to make a tailored suit that would fit him. McAnally then had to excuse himself from the ceremony because he was late for a PETA meeting.
Joe May, publisher of Clark County’s newspaper of record, The Southern Standard, opined in a strongly worded editorial — printed on the front page, above the fold — that he was coming to grips with the changing times, and begrudgingly accepted the city square’s new appearance. May said the next edition of the weekly paper would be redesigned using lavish colors to reflect the city’s new values, and headlines will be in bubble font.
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