If you’ve come here today for a good April Fool’s spoof, we’re sorry to disappoint.
Although it was tempting to write a made-up news article about how the Southern Baptist College Association named Ben Sells as the Most Popular University President of 2025, the wiser part of us opted against it.
Since 2021, The Arkadelphian has taken pride in its uncanny ability to lure in readers by the droves — particularly on April 1 each year, when we skip the gloomy newscaster tone to, more or less, deliver fake news in our underwear. It’s been a fun ride, but we’re afraid our laughin’ days are over.
Having reached the age of 40, we’ve apparently turned a corner, and matured. However, it was difficult to refrain from penning a satirical account of how the Arkadelphia School Board planned to ask for yet another millage increase that, if passed, would improve school report cards from C’s and D’s to A’s and B’s. That joke would go right over many of your heads, and you’d accept it as fact.
You see, in the past year we’ve taken mental note of an influx in false information that gets spread around on the Internet and social media. Seems like once a week there’s a new Facebook page poking fun at its community (Spa City Scoop and Diamond City Scoop, we’re looking at you). Hats off to those guys, but count us out because, unlike them, we’re too distinguished for such silliness (difficult as it was to hold back from pointing out the fake fact that ARDOT announced it was indefinitely halting construction on the Walnut Street bridge due to the governor’s pledge to fund a 10,000-bed prison at an as-yet undisclosed location).
Sure, we wanted more than anything to report that the City of Arkadelphia got the Board of Directors’ blessing to spend $4 million on widening the first 100 feet of W.P. Malone Drive to include an Express Lane to enter McDonald’s from Pine Street. But we’re grownups now, and no longer approve of such tomfoolery.
Artificial Intelligence is replacing genuine brainpower at an alarming pace. More and more, society is having to decipher between what is real and fake. Here at The Arkadelphian, our pledge is to deliver truth so that our readers never question fact from fiction. Although the absence of April Fool’s humor leaves us feeling emptier than a student parking lot at Henderson State University.
Oh what a thrill it would have been to provide a detailed account of how the Arkadelphia Alliance held a press conference where it was announced that jobs were being created, or that Percy Malone’s new pharmacy would have an aisle or two devoted to Whirlpool appliances and Craftsman tools, or that Group Living clients and staff were bewildered to discover that the old Arby’s sign had been dropped off overnight behind the Beehive, or to post our exclusive Q&A with Sheriff Jason Watson on why he gave up Facebook for Lent.
So, Dear Reader, we want you to know that we’re sorry if we got your hopes up that you’d find some side-splitting comedy at The Arkadelphian today. We hate to disappoint.
Alas, growing up is no fun.
Joel Phelps is editor of arkadelphian.com. Contact him by email at editor@arkadelphian.com