If you enjoyed spending “A Few Minutes with Andy Rooney”, I’d like you to spend a few moments with Joel Phelps, aka The Newspaper Guy or The Arkadelphian.
Before I start complaining, let it be known that, over all, I enjoy this line of work. Through what I learned in journalism school, through hands-on experience and trial-and-error, and with a bit of luck, I’ve managed to carve out a niche. It’s rewarding to hear readers thank me for keeping them informed. For the most part, it’s easy work (newsies have a saying: “It beats working for a living.”) But let me tell you: Sometimes it makes me want to pull out what few hairs are left on my head.
While it’s a fun job, there’s immense pressure that comes along with being The Newspaper Guy in a small town. You rely on me daily to provide relevant information about the community. Getting that information is at times like pulling teeth; other times, on busy days, it’s overwhelming. I’m about to give out (cue Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers).
Here’s a glance at some of the nonsense I deal with while trying to deliver information to the readers of arkadelphian.com. I’m changing the story lines and names so as not to make it too obvious who’s been so darn aggravating lately.
• • •
One person — I’ll call him Jim Himjim — made headlines because his business was selected for an award. Here’s a “transcript” of a phone call I made to collect a statement for a recent news article:
Me: “Hey, I see Jim’s Juke Joint was named for a prestigious award, and I was hoping to get a comment from you.” It wasn’t an award at all, but rather news that cast Jim’s Juke Joint in a negative light.
Jim at first acknowledges that his juke joint was the recipient of an award.
Jim: “That wasn’t us. That was a different Jim’s Juke Joint. They named the wrong Jim’s Juke Joint.”
Me: “Wait … What? It says right here that Jim’s Juke Joint is getting the award. It even lists Jim Himjim as the proprietor. You’re saying it’s not your juke joint that’s getting this prestigious award?”
Jim: “That’s right. It’s not us.”
Me: “Well, OK, if you say so. I guess I’ll find the other Jim Himjim who owns Jim’s Juke Joint and report on that.”
Jim: “OK, bye.”
• • •
As I do on any given day, I check out what my counterparts are doing in Magnolia, Hope/Prescott, Texarkana and Warren. One particular day I noticed that hopeprescott.com had reported on their local Barn Family of the Year. They included a small writeup and a photograph of the 2024 Barn Family for both Hempstead and Nevada counties.
A couple of clicks later, and whallah — I found the name of the Clark County Barn Family of the Year on the Arkansas Barn Bureau’s website. With only a list of names, I made a phone call to the Barn Bureau and requested information.
Me: “Could you give me a brief explanation about the local Barn Family?”
Him: “I’m out of the office, but if you’ll send me an email with your question, I’ll get that to you first thing tomorrow.”
Email sent pronto. Days went by with no response. Later that week I saw the weekly Southern Standard published the very information I had requested.
I had a nice spot at the top of the homepage picked out for the Barn Family. Bummer it didn’t pan out.
• • •
No doubt about it, The Arkadelphian’s weekly installment of police activity is wildly popular among readers.
Typically, the hardest part about this is deciphering the sloppy penmanship of jailers. When it’s too difficult to ascertain, I’ll include a [sic] beside a name to let the reader know the editor simply couldn’t make heads or tails of a name’s spelling. I spell the names just as they appear on the jail log.
This week someone who was arrested complained in the Facebook comments that her name was misspelled. I’ll call her Samantha Polanski.
Samantha Polanski: “Spelt my name wrong … FYI”
Me: (Checks the spelling of the name to find Samantha Polanski)
Also Me, telepathically to Ms. Polanski: “Hey, Samantha, do yourself a favor and leave it be.”
If your name is misspelled — or misspelt — in the arrest log, count your lucky stars.
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